Kisses and Cuddles
by Lady-Aurora-Pendragon
Summary: All Merlin wants is a kiss from his king. (Story is better than the summary and the name!) Merthur. Based off Fanart. Oneshot. Stuff from Tumblr.


(And HERE is another cheesy oneshot from me! I wrote this one after seeing a post on Tumblr, so this isn't really my idea, I just sort of used the picture as a guideline. Maybe after you read it you will know what picture I'm talking about. It's an amazing drawing done by _**havit-ravn** _**so it was 100% their idea** I just had to write about it because I loved the picture so much. I hope they don't mind! If they see this. I wrote this thing in under an hour because I was THAT into the idea, it was so cute and I am very proud of myself right now. I don't own the idea (of at least half of it) nor do I own Merlin.)

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Merlin knew it wasn't at all proper for a servant to lie in bed with their king, nor was it proper for said king to put his strong arms around said servant and pull them in, close, for the whole night. Yet Merlin allowed it to happen, time and again, he wouldn't refuse Arthur anything, he couldn't. Arthur was in pain right now and no matter what he said, though he denied hurting anymore over Guinevere's betrayal, he was still hurting, Merlin could see it.

So, on that first night, when Merlin had all but tucked the king into bed, and he had whispered those words, _"Stay…please,"_ Merlin could do nothing but comply. At first, Merlin had only thought he wanted Merlin to stay present in the room, he hadn't been sleeping well lately, but when he reached out and pulled Merlin by his arm, into the bed, well…Merlin understood then.

It was the first night and Merlin thought it would be the last, but soon, Merlin was asking if Arthur wanted him to stay and all Arthur had to do now was nod, Merlin would already be half-way in the bed at this point anyway. Arthur would wrap his arms around Merlin tightly and they would just lie there, sometimes they spoke, but hardly ever. Sometimes Merlin would run gentle fingers over the kings hands or arms and Arthur would hum against his neck or laugh lightly and more times than not, Merlin found himself doing that more often.

Before long he also found he might be doing this more for himself than Arthur anymore, it had been two months since Gwen's departure and even still Merlin spent almost every night wrapped in his king's arms. He wasn't sure it was for Arthur anymore at all, actually, because Arthur was laughing more and looked happier, he fought better and he ate more. He was a happy king again and Merlin wondered when it would stop, when Arthur would start denying his offers of staying the night, but still…that night hadn't come.

It hadn't come and it still hadn't come two more months later and Merlin started to feel more confident, maybe Arthur didn't want them to stop either. Now, even on camping trips Arthur chose to sit closest to Merlin, almost on top of him really, and at night when they and the knights slept, Arthur would lay close to him and somehow wind up with one arm slung over Merlin's middle by morning. If anyone noticed, no one said a word about it, not even Arthur.

There were many times when Merlin wanted to ask what this was, did Arthur just like feeling close to someone, or was there more? Did he feel like Merlin felt? Completely and utterly in love, because that's what Merlin felt, feelings so strong he thought he might be crushed by them. But yet, Arthur didn't say anything and neither did Merlin, he couldn't chance ruining this, not ever. But he wanted more, oh did he ever, more than anything. Almost as much as he wanted magic freed in Camelot, _almost as much_. Perhaps he just wanted a kiss, perhaps he wanted more. But either way, no matter how open he allowed himself to be, if Arthur ever decided to lean in when they were close, it never happened.

Six months, and he felt needy and urgent, he wanted Arthur to kiss him more than he wanted to breathe at this point and if he didn't get some things settled he was going to die, surely. If Arthur didn't want to kiss him, fine, but if he did, Merlin wished he just would already. So now, as they lie there, Arthur's back pressed against a tree and Merlin lying against his chest, back completely pressed against Arthur, it was perfect. Arthur's hands moved over Merlin's chest idly, he was probably thinking and Merlin's thoughts were correct, when he looked up, ( Arthur looked completely breath taking even upside down mind you, ) he could see him, staring off into the trees below the hill they had walked up and decided to sit on. It had actually been Arthur who decided to sit and then called Merlin over. And Merlin would go anywhere his king asked him to, though, he didn't mind this turn of events at all.

He reached up and ran a gentle hand through Arthur's hair, he did this sometimes, Arthur never complained. He liked touching Arthur's hair, it was soft and felt nice between his fingers. He watched as a smile formed on Arthur's lips and he couldn't help but smile too. Arthur looked down slightly and laughed a bit.

"What?" he asked, and Merlin just shrugged. "You look like you have something on your mind."

"So do you," Merlin countered, letting his fingers run down to Arthur's neck and touch the skin there.

"I always have something on my mind, Merlin."

"So do I."

"Hmm, is that so?" Arthur hummed, quickly looking out to the trees again, and then back down to Merlin. "And what is it that you have on your mind?"

"You."

Arthur's face broke out into a grin then and he let out a small bark of laughter. "I'm pleased to know that, anything else?"

"And kisses," he admitted. "Kisses from you."

""Don't be ridiculous, Merlin," Arthur said, grin going away quickly. "I can't kiss you, I'm the king and you are my servant."

And there it was, the truth, Merlin could feel his heart breaking right under Arthur's left hand. He nodded and looked down again, at nothing really, because he was only trying to calm himself. Looking at Arthur hurt too much. Of course Arthur wouldn't want to kiss him, he was his servant.

"So tell me …" Merlin started, trying to keep a poised tone. He couldn't let Arthur know how much this truth hurt him, he didn't want this all to stop. "Why do you cuddle me then?"

Arthur sighed; Merlin could feel his chest rise and fall, deeply. "Merlin…"

"What, Arthur?"

"Just shut up."

Merlin nodded, with a gulp and looked out into the trees, he could see a few birds paying in the trees and he watched them. They seemed to be building a nest, a red one and a blue one. He imagined the red one was Arthur and he was the blue one. A life in the woods, where they could build their own nest and live happily together, they could kiss if they wanted to then, because the red bird wasn't a king and the blue bird wasn't his servant. They were equal, Merlin would never have the luxury of being Arthur's equal, all he would ever be is a servant.

"You know, Merlin…" Arthur spoke again, and it surprised him a little. "It is just not right for a king to kiss his servant."

Why was he still talking about this? Merlin got it, loud and clear, they could never have more. And honestly, Merlin could live with just this. Being close to Arthur would be enough for him, but that didn't mean it didn't still hurt.

"You think so?" he returned, softly, blinking away the stray tear that wanted to fall. He could feel Arthur humming again, beneath him and Merlin leaned into him more.

"When I was younger, before I met you, I would hear stories of how king's or princes would kiss their servants," Arthur squeezed him a little, bringing him a little closer. "They would force themselves, or just…expect it, because they could have anything they wanted, or thought they could. I promised myself I would never do that, if I were to ever have a personal servant."

"Is that what you think this is?" Merlin asked, a little offended, honestly. Merlin was so clearly in love and if Arthur couldn't see that, Merlin wasn't sure what to do. "Because, I don't-"

"I thought I told you to shut up!?" Arthur barked and Merlin relaxed, stopping his words before they could come out. Arthur trailed fingers up and down Merlin's torso again and sighed."But you never listen to me, do you?"

"I don't…" Merlin smiled a little, at the thought.

"You should."

"I don't see why."

Arthur let out a laugh. "You know, Merlin…I never said you couldn't kiss me." Merlin looked up at him, so fast he felt Arthur's shirt crinkle up into his neck as he did. "It might not be proper for a king to kiss his servant, but for a servant to kiss his king…"

"Would be treason," Merlin finished for him.

"Not if you have permission," Arthur smiled, looking down at Merlin finally. "If you want to, Merlin, you can kiss me…"

"Really?" Merlin asked, slowly, feeling his body suddenly heat up and his hands grow sweaty. He scurried out of Arthur's hold and turned toward him, sitting on his legs, in-between Arthurs. He stared at Arthur.

"Only if you want to."

"I want to," Merlin said, nodding his head something fiercely. "I want to kiss you."

"Then you should."

Merlin nodded again, licking his lips. His heart was racing already and nothing had even happened. He leaned forward, one hand on the tree trunk for support and the other coming to touch the skin of Arthur's neck once more. Arthur just sat there, watching Merlin as he leaned in, and only tilted his chin so that when their lips finally met, it wasn't as awkward as it could be.

This was enough, he told himself, just this once, to hold him off for years. Arthur's lips were so soft and full against his and it was…_magical_. Yes, this would be enough, but Merlin had a funny idea he might want more, more and more of kisses like these.

He gasped a little when Arthur's lips started to move against his, before they had only been pressed together and now they were moving, both sets of lips. It was perfect. Arthur titled his head to the side, leaving Merlin more room to touch gentle fingers on his neck and just so, so that their mouths fell together almost like it was meant to be. Merlin had the faintest idea, though, that it might be.

Merlin pulled back, regretfully, after a moment and rested his forehead on Arthur's jaw. Somehow, the king had wound his fingers into Merlin's hair and the other set was lying on Merlin's side. He used those fingers to press little shapes into Merlin and soon was letting out a small laugh, Merlin joined him, nothing was funny, of course, it was just sort of a happy laugh. This was surely the happiest Merlin had felt in a long time, maybe even ever. It made everything he had ever done for Arthur worth it, that one simple kiss. (Even cleaning out the stables, and that's really saying something.)

"Do you really want to know why I cuddle you?" Arthur asked then, suddenly, and Merlin nodded, forehead still pressed against Arthur's jaw. He didn't want to move just yet, he doubted he would ever want to move. "It's because I love you, Merlin."


End file.
